Talking about myself

I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do when I grow up.

We live in a neoliberal society. Among a number of other things, such a society reduces all value to exchange value. I am an intellectual. I do not offer (nor am I interested in) exchange value but rather a public good which is diminished and demeaned.1 To say that this has consequences is to put it entirely too mildly.

Among those consequences is that I have not, since 2001, despite in that time finishing a Bachelor's degree, a Master's degree, and a Ph.D., been able to find a "real" job, by which I mean one that meets the standards of article 7 in a pillar of international human rights law,2 the International Covenant of Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights. This is a pillar that the United States refuses to ratify.3

Another thing that neoliberalism is devalue workers,4 who are seen as an expense rather than an asset. That means the jobs I am able to get pay less than what it costs to live, which is to say that my exchange value is less than the market value, the only recognized value, of my life.5 To say that I am furious with this situation and with my inability to improve it might begin to approach the truth.

ORCID iD: My research area is on conservatism.


Graton, June 23, 2012


A warning

This page is not at all friendly to those who think our present system of social organization is ideal, the best that can be achieved, or even acceptable. I am not in any sense a "winner" in this system and have somewhat unintentionally directed much of my education to understanding why I am not a winner. It turns out that this system is inherently unjust to most of the life on this planet with consequences that are already disastrous for many more lifeforms than myself.6 This understanding has profoundly changed me; I no longer accept many of our society's foundational myths. I am a radical in the sense of one who has tried to see the world as it is, rather than what it is supposed to be, and to draw the conclusions that follow from those observations. If indeed this system is the best we can do—and I now fear that we have too little time left in which to make a change—then our extinction, while a tragedy for the many other species we take with us,7 will be richly deserved. If you strongly believe otherwise, you might as well stop reading now; we won't get along anyway.


The problem I'm trying to solve with this page is to provide some sort of self-introduction for those who might consider some sort of relationship with me, be it employment, romantic, or otherwise.

It's somewhat mysterious how I should go about this. I am a scholar, not a quantifiable unit of production (figure 2), and the whole idea of some sort of skills-matching seems really weird to me. I do not want to be hired for my passable Microsoft Word skills or because I have some limited ability in technology or because I'm a warm body. I bring a lot more than that to the table and if that's what you're looking for, we're simply not going to get along for very long.

I am interested in ideas. That's how I am able, for example, to understand that conservatism is not monolithic, but rather a terribly fraught alliance of seven different kinds of conservatism. These "tendencies" of conservatism share some, but not all, ideas; there are overlaps and conflicts.

In a series of critical and thoughtful analyses Mr. Benfell has demonstrated an extraordinary level of scholarship. The breadth of David's reading and ability to synthesize and then to ask original and penetrating questions, while challenging to cultural norms and accepted frameworks, is illustrative of an originality that is demanded by the complexity of contemporary social problems. The essays developed for this course demonstrate that David is quite ready to take on the challenge of dissertation research.

—JoAnn McAllister
December 31, 2013

Fig. 2. If you absolutely must have a quantifiable accomplishment. Now, go away. I am interested in the failure of our present system of social organization.8 For instance, that any market system of exchange inherently privileges whomever is more able to say no, and that this privilege is cumulative, leading to a widening gulf between rich and poor.9 I am interested in this system's failure to address existential threats to human survival,10 such as climate change.11

David's understanding of sustainability issues is deep and his work on the issues is highly creative. In this course he grasped the material and then went on to analysis of the modes of thought that resist sustainability, the limits of individual efforts and plans for research that may assist broader change.

—Marc Pilisuk
May 1, 2013

Relationships that won't work

Alienated labor is really not my thing.12 But I am also absolutely not entrepreneurial and could not sell a glass of lemonade even to someone dying of thirst in the desert. It just doesn't work. I have tried it at terribly low points in my life and I can't even sell something I believe in. Yes, that means I can't do fundraising.

I am terribly ill-suited for the prevailing doctrine of neoliberalism. I reject capitalist libertarianism, its neoliberalist offspring, so-called anarcho-capitalism, and all its variants.13 I object to the neoliberal preeminence of market value over all other value.14 I have trouble tolerating economic arrangements of exchange that privilege whomever has the greater power to say no and that cyclically exacerbate inequality.15 I tolerate markets at all only because I live in a market-based society. Unfortunately,

Economics has become the benchmark for other intellectual endeavors; its practitioners rule policy debates; and, sadly, its mathematical modeling has become a closet form of anti-intellectualism — mathematically abstracted, as it tends to be, from real-world problems — that is creeping into other disciplines. . . . [But] [e]conomists also have less regard — or perhaps greater disdain? — for other disciplines, as well as much more tightly wound methods, unified frameworks, and core principles that appear unchallengeable from within or outside the field. All of this condemns economists to a distinct epistemological insularity, a unified worldview that demarcates them from the rest of the academy. The more economists agree among themselves, the further they drift from everyone else. . . .

From inside its fenced-in monocultural landscape, [economics] students are taught that they have arrived at the land of objectivity, that they have passed beyond the ideological and into the scientific. Not only is this protectionism, but it creates a rub with democratic theory and practice. It is, essentially, an invitation to opt out of the greater intellectual struggles in which the rest of us are engaged. By protecting itself from the contagion of outside ideas, economics offers up a more extreme version of the Balkanization and creeping anti-­intellectualism that are apparent elsewhere in the academy. Its hegemonic role, however, makes all the more important the need for the field to open up and transcend its preoccupation with the blackboard fictions of economic modeling.16

In a society which has elevated capitalism well beyond the condition of an economic system, I am a heretic and a blasphemer. And that I am not a unit of production means my résumé isn't terribly meaningful. This, in addition to the facts that I am really, really not a marketer or salesperson; that I am an introvert, whose social network is limited and largely from a time when I was trying to fit into the high technology industry; and other factors, makes it hard for me to get hired,17 or even to get a date. In fact, you might say that the notion of marketing myself feels like prostitution and that I am repelled by the deceptions, game-playing, and manipulations that generally pass for courtship in our society.

In addition, my patience for idiots has diminished over time. I am collecting suggestions on things to do if you want me to take you seriously here.

I have been unemployed (or gainlessly employed) for a long time

I need a job hunt process that actually works. All I can see is what amounts to a fraud.

Whom would I work with?

Since it's hard to conceive what I would do, perhaps it is better to approach the question from the perspective of whom I would prefer to work with:

  • Organizations concerned about sustainability and which acknowledge the extreme role of livestock production in environmental destruction.
  • Organizations which seek to advance a liberal education and which would resist the neoliberal trend toward for-profit education (a scam) and instrumentalization of higher education.
  • Organizations concerned with social, economic, and environmental justice.
  • Vegans, though I prefer the label "vegetarian ecofeminist"
  • Non-smokers (I'm allergic)
  • Highly educated people

I am willing, even anxious, to relocate

Fig. 3. The eleven nations in the U.S. (Brian Stauffer, Tufts University, fair use). I have lived in and around California almost my entire life, but much as I love the scenery here, I also have a love of exploration that sustains a largely unfulfilled interest in other parts of the world (yes, I'm willing to travel and/or relocate, and probably should relocate to the area marked as Yankeedom in figure 318 and would prefer to be in an area with, overall, lower temperatures and higher humidity than where I am now). I am also interested in Portland, Oregon because I am vegetarian ecofeminist, and Portland appears to be a great place to be for vegetarian ecofeminists.

I have a broad background

Graton, August 3, 2012 My employment background is diverse. As an early (1979) A.A. degree in Business Data Processing suggests, I had a smattering of lower-division business classes (not my principal interest) at a junior college and began my working career as a computer programmer/analyst. I worked mostly in solo settings. Since then, I've worked in a variety of situations, only a few of which were technology-related. I was drawn into the tail-end of the dot-com boom as a technical writer at Linuxcare. (I learned later that technical writers are poorly regarded within the high tech industry; at the time, this was the best job I had ever had, both in terms of how I was treated and how I was compensated.) I also worked briefly as a junior-level system administrator as the dot-com crash began to unfold.

I am veganGraton, August 3, 2012

Critical Theory, applied, or other things people might want to know about me

I am vegetarian ecofeminist, anarchist, naturist, and Taoist. I am vegetarian ecofeminist in part because as an anarchist, opposition to hierarchy of humans over animals follows from opposition to hierarchy among humans; in part out of concern for the environment;19 and in part for health reasons. I am anarchist largely because the dominator system of social organization is a failed system that leads to violence and injustice against humans, animals, and the environment,20 and because it has utterly failed to address the climate change crisis.21 I am naturist because I believe that personal autonomy is an unalienable right that people may do with their bodies what they choose and that no one may impose anything—be it second-hand tobacco smoke, clothing, military service, or pregnancies—on those bodies. I am Taoist because I am, and because Taoism does not anthropomorphize the mystical.22

Graton, August 3, 2012

Graton, June 23, 2012 On this site, you'll find my research journal and a somewhat daily newsletter. My blog is at My profile photograph, which also serves as the site logo image, was taken by Suzy Fisher on November 5, 2016. The remaining photography, but not the map, on this page is all mine.

And that's probably about as much about myself as I can stand to write. My intolerable résumé is here.